I didn’t choose Pistol ’cause it was the most scenic run.  Five 10-mile laps on a TN airport greenway.  Chose Pistol (6 months ago) ‘cause I heard it was one of the easiest first 50s.  Flat.  Well-lit path.  Paved.  Everything Bighorn was not – and NO altitude.  LOL>

Only downside?  Pistol’s an OVERNITE run.  50-mile race starts @ 8pm.  BIG challenge.  I’m one of those, an early riser.  I run pre-dawn.  Work, walk the pup, bed by 9pm.  Biggest physical challenge this race: STOMACH.  How to fuel – & run – all night, overnight.

Saturday direct flight to Knoxville, touchdown 4pm.

Mentally, arrived a bit checked out.  Unfortunately life events can happen whether we schedule 50-mile runs or not.  It is what it is.  6 months of planning & sometimes it’s all a crap shoot, nature of the sport.  How we manage the unexpected.  How we overcome.  Weather, life events.  That’s where FAITH plugs the gap.  It’s not a magic pill, but generally, if I can get quiet/get alone, I can stay centered.  Remember who I am.

Step step step, one after another.  One mile becomes 5.  Five soon double digits.  Double-digits, a 2-hour Half.  Mile 17 to Mile 20: dig deep, PUSH.  Twenty miles to the Finish.  That’s the formula.  The one in my mind – when I’m entirely IN MY HEAD…when it doesn’t come easy, on a day like today.

Push, propel, get quiet, succeed.  140 finishes, not my first mental low.

Clear nite skies.  45 degrees, dipping another 15-20 by daybreak.  Primo conditions.

Course?  Easy forgiving path.  Well-organized event.  Good on-site support, station 4 miles.

On paper, it all makes sense.  It was my time.

Saturday night REALITY?  Couldn’t shut my head off.  I couldn’t get quiet.  Talk, talk, talk.  Couldn’t stop the noise.  In my head, outside my head.  On a vacant greenway in nowhere (Alcoa) Tennessee, heart raced.  Overwhelmed, unbalanced.  Stomach turn’d by 10.  My clock ended near midnite.

Tick, tick, done.  No Cinderella, no fairy tale.  Mentally spent, broken.

Front seat of a $25 rental.  Voices still talking, quiet never found.  5-minute meltdown.

Wiped my face/walked to the race table.  In my out-loud voice, told ’em: “it’s not my night, I’m finished.”  Turned in my bib, grown-up time.  Lotta stuff goes thru your head while unfastening four tiny safety pins.  But…world still spins.  50 still a number.  Just not tonite’s number.  Some day.

Colorado home in hours.  Closing my eyes, powering down.  Can over-analyze everything next week.  Super disappointing.  Not last summer, not today, 50 some day  🍀🌈 🌞

Pistol ULTRA

The Pistol Ultra

Alcoa, TN US 37701

 

Keenan Haga  50 Mile  Louisville, CO   BIB #439  DNF  OVERALL 56 of 83

 

MILE 4.6  45:10.7  9:49 Place: 10

MILE 9.6  1:34:37.1  9:51  Place: 17

MILE 14.6  2:34:00.9  10:33  Place: 16

MILE 19.2  3:35:44.1  11:14  Place: 27

MILE 20  4:02:00.4  12:06